I’m hungry and there’s no food in my house and I just want a burger and whiskey. I’m obviously Ron Swanson.
Oh my Channing Tatum.
I saw Magic Mike tonight and I nearly slid right off my chair.
I'M SEEING MAGIC MIKE TONIGHT AND I'M OH SO VERY...
Keanu Reeves is a vampire. →
lulz-time: Now, look at this: That’s “Paul Mounet”, a french actor, who “died” in 1922. His body never was found. Then, look at this: An unknown man, painted in 1530 by Parmigianino. Compare them: He’s a motherfucking vampire His beard in 2011 even grows the same way as the painting in 1530
i just eurgh idk i feel like a plastic bag
So I'm watching Interview with the Vampire for the...
Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt make a hot couple of vampires.
jh0n: Commitment. Excuse me as I download all 8 seasons. Karen Walker is my spirit animal.
calmgiant: cumguzzling-gutterslut: joydivsion: how do i boyfriend when ugly Well, learning to speak proper fucking English is always a nice start… Yes, cumguzzling-gutterslut, this point seems quite valid coming from you.
It can be factually proven that I always fall for the boys who have no interest in me and the only boys who ever take an interest in me are the boys I can’t even imagine ever wanting. Always. Al. Ways.
parent: why hasn't ____ been round lately? I thought you were friends
me: well they turned into a cunt
So yeah, I kind of seriously want to go into...
“Plus size” models have to be between sizes 6 and 16. I can do that! Also, why the hell not? All I have to do is upload a few pictures and tell a bunch of people how tall I am and how much I weight. I mean, YOLO right?
majoringlife: Josh Hutcherson saying Reggaeton
I'm disgusted and infuriated with Kraft Foods over...
pizzaforpresident: multi-shipper-ninja: pizzaforpresident: What kind of sick company is this? I’ve always trusted Kraft to deliver tasty and morally righteous products but then they pull this on us: That’s right. A giant gay oreo. How dare they dangle this cream filled abombination in front our faces and then have the balls to say it does not exist? I’m boycotting Kraft and Oreo until...
seriously tho wtf is wrong with me.
transitorystory: possible-side-effects: arbors: idk why i did this I’m dying. fantastic
I wonder who else was born in Eagleton…Voldemort, probably.– Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation
Fuzzy llama funny llama llama llama duck
You had me at ‘meat tornado’.– Ron Swanson
Doctor: Are you sexually active?
Me: Laughs hysterically, makes pterodactyl noise, transforms into a potato and rolls out the door and away into the sunset
batreaux: meet sexy Kraft singles in your area
jh0n: gdvp: Lady Gaga - Glitter & Grease ...
One does not simply claim the iron ring in Mordor’s Landing.
I never trust anything that comes that quickly…that’s why I...– Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation